Conversation Heuristic Steps
Diagram for Conversational Change
Interactions to Collect Reliable Information
The first step is to interact to collect reliable information that identifies and explains the person’s situation. By being a good listener and exhibiting a caring attitude a positive rapport is created with the student. Over time as positive interactions continually demonstrate a safe helping relationship the student will begin to trust that s/he can share accurate personal information.
Body language can help or hinder the communication. Sit at eye level, make eye contact (if appropriate) lean forward, use open body language, smile, use good tonality, touch (if appropriate), nod and bob. The amount of time you are willing to spend with the student is a statement of your interest and concern. Interactions that are effective during this stage are open-ended questions, reflective-listening, and closed-ended questions that probe for deeper understanding without building barriers.
Interactions to Overcome Situations Students want to Hide
These interactions may not be necessary. Not all students avoid talking about their problem. Still others will employ numerous strategies and a high degree of skill in hiding what they would rather avoid. There are a variety of reasons for them to do so. They may be embarrassed, feel guilty, don’t want to be wrong, are afraid of other’s reaction, or other reasons. It is very hard to help a person solve a problem when they don’t or can’t share reliable information or information related to the issue. Interactions that increase students' willingness to share reliable information include the three previous interactions (open-ended questions, reflective-listening, and closed-ended questions) and two more: positive statements and contradictory statements.
Positive statements are used to keep the conversation going. To make a positive statement doesn’t mean that you agree with what the student has said or done. It is simply information stated in a positive manner to probe for additional information or encourage a student to share information that s/he has been hiding.
A contradictory statement works in the same manner only where a positive statement is like catching flies with honey the contradictory statement may be interpreted as honey or a jolt of reality. In either case they can be effective to get students to talk about something they have been hidding or unwilling to discuss.
Interactions to Help People Commit to Change
Once a situation or problem is identified, and the student accepts the problem, the student must want to change. If the student is willing to make a sincere commitment to change, the next step is to select an intervention that is the least restrictive and intrinsic (see intervention continuum for interventions listed from least restrictive and intrinsic to most restrictive and extrinsic) is selected. If the student does not commit to change, then the conversation moves to interactions that reduce a person’s resistance to change. Interaction for this step is a closed question.
Conversational Interactions to Reduce a Person’s Resistance to Change and Interventions to Help Students Create, Implement, and Sustain the Plan
The types of interactions used to reduce a person's resistance to change so that s/he are willing to accept suggestions for a plan or create a plan, implement the plan, and adjust it as necessary to achieve lasting change fall into two categories. First, is conversational interactions to support change interventions when students are intrinsic motivated. Second, is conversational interactions to support change intervations when students are not intrinsically motivated and extrinsic motivation is used as part of an intervention. Each of these have different kinds of conversational interactions to accompany the chosen interventions. Two paths Conversational Interaction diagram represent these interactions: left path, solid arrows, represents extrinsic interventions and the right, dotted path, represents intrinsic interventions.
The right, intrinsic and less restrictive interventions will use more open-ended, reflective listening, empathy, support and more, and encouragement statements. The left, extrinsic and more restrictive interventions will use more approval, authority, disapproval, I-statements, and praise. However, an extrinsic and more restrictive approach does not need to be limited to these interactions and interventions only. Whatever kind of interventions used the more caring the tone of the conversation the greater the possibility of lasting change. Therefore, if an intervention starts restrictive and extrinsic, there must be a transition to intrinsic and less restrictive for there to be a possibility of lasting change.
Intrinsically Motivated Example
A student wants to be able to interact with his or her peers in a manner that allows him or her to be accepted. The student has the desire but is lacking necessary knowledge and social skills. It is highly likely that a teacher or counselor can work with this student and help them achieve the expected goal.
Extrinsically Motivated Example
A student refuses to complete work in a timely manner and is not willing to change. For one reason or another the student lacks intrinsic motivation. After sufficient failed conversations to elicite a commitment to change the teacher uses an authority statement to tell the student what they should do and implements an intervention of punishment and rewards to create change. While the intrinsic approach is more acceptable this may be an example when a more restrictive extrinsic approach is necessary.
Each of these examples has different kinds of conversational interactions to elicit a commitment to change. The first, intrinsic and less restrictive approach will use more open-ended, reflective listening, empathy, support and more, and encouragement statements. The second, extrinsic and more restrictive approach will use more approval, authority, disapproval, I-statements, and praise. The more directed, coercive, and authoritarian the approach the more likely the interactions will be concentrated around the later kinds of statements. However, an extrinsic and restrictive approach does not need to be limited to those interactions only. The more interactions and interventions used that are less restrictive and more intrinsic, the more caring the tone of the conversation and the greater the possibility of obtaining a commitment to change, if not at first, later. Therefore, conversations and interventions that start extrinsic and restricted must transition to intrinsic and less restrictive to increase the possibility of lasting change.
Dr. Robert Sweetland's Notes ©