Positive Statements
Suggestions for use:
- Be an optimist, look for the best, avoid the negative, and do not use no and not.
- Focus on the issue, communicate what the student wants, what the student could do, or has done that is positive.
- Don't lecture or moralize. The idea is to get the student to recognize and agree on one or two things they want or did, or even what is good or isn't good.
Example of use: Most of us like to win. A positive statement to say in this particular situation would be: "You like to win". Then wait for their response. Normally winning is not a problem, but when we want to win so bad that we go to extremes to win at any cost, then we can create problems for others and our selves. If we lecture a person on fair play, sportsmanship, and winning they may listen and learn. More likely they listen and hear what Charlie Brown hears when his teacher talks. "Waaa Waa Waaa Waa Waaa." Resulting in a lecture not conversation. The student is waiting for the last word so they can escape.
If we use a positive statement, "You like to win." They probably will say yes. Then the teacher listens, uses halt time and sees what the person may follow up with.
With a bit of luck they may continue with a statement like, "I know but I don't always."
That keeps the conversation going and what follows could lead to some insight and personal growth.
Sample positive statements:
- She thinks of creative solutions to problems.
- It was thoughtful to help Jim when he fell down.
- You like to help.
- You want to be right.
- Look at all the colors you used.
- Look at the tower you made.
- You like to be in charge.
- You like to have things your way.
- You want to know what is happening.
- You want to win the game.